Laurens, I like you a lot
by Fanthissparkintoaflame
Summary: Alex has had a long, traumatic journey to get to the Washingtons. It is there when he meets John Laurens, and starts to come to terms with his past.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! It's me, your author. This is my first time on this site, so bear with me. TW for child abuse **

Alex woke up screaming. He had had another nightmare. It wasn't surprising, as he had nightmares often, due to his traumatic past.

This was because of all that happened when he grew up in Nevis before he immigrated to the US when he was 12. He didn't like to talk about his past.

He heard footsteps and cursed himself for screaming. Mr. Reynolds came into his bedroom.

"Want another beating for the road then"? Reynolds sneered at him.

Alex winced and braced himself for a blow. Reynolds slapped him until he fell to his knees. Then he kicked him in the chest.

"Amy's coming soon to take you somewhere where you aren't wanted. Get dressed." Reynolds commanded.

After Reynolds left, Alex had flashbacks to his nightmare. He saw his brother abandoned, lost, starving and wished he could just know where he was. He worried because James had always been trusting, sensitive, stupid sweet.

He pulled on a sweatshirt and jeans and put his hair in a messy bun. He heard a car pull up, and figured that it was his social worker, Amy. He ran to her and asked her the one question he always did.

"Have you heard anything about James"? Alex asked desperately.

"No Alex and neither has anyone at work. Are you eating"?

Alex shrugged. "Enough".

"Alexander, that isn't an answer. You need to eat, and you should be sleeping more too". Amy said, exasperated.

"I'm fine". Alex retorted. "Anyway, what's this one like"?

_That seemed to distract her, thank God._

" You will be staying with Martha and George Washington. They are living a little way outside the city, so you will go to a different school. George is a politician. They have a son too, this just says his name is Lafayette. He's 15, like you". Amy recited as she read.

"Sounds fine". Alex figured that he would at least know someone at school, even if he was mean.

-X-

_They arrived at the house._

"Alex, you need to take care of yourself". Amy said, sounding worried.

"I'll be fine". Alex got out of the car and walked out of the house. He took one last glance at the car, before opening the door.

He was immediately bombarded by a guy speaking rapid french.

"Bonjour, J'mappelle Lafayette, Comment tu t'appelle, J'ai 15 ans, Quel âge as-tu"?

_Hello, I'm lafayette, what's your name, I'm 15, how old are you?_

"Right, sorry, English".

"Oh, it's okay. J'mappelle Alexander, et j'ai 15 ans".

_I'm Alexander, and I'm 15._

"Tu parles francais"! That's cool.

_You speak french!_

"Okay Laf, that's enough. I'm Martha, and it's good to finally meet you, Alexander".

"You can call me Alex if you want". Alex hated those awkward introductions.

"Well, I'm George. Do you want anything to eat"?

Alex felt George eyeing his thin frame. "I already ate".

"Laf, why don't you show Alex to his room"?

"Okay, dad. C'mon, your room's upstairs".

_They walk into the room._

"So do we share a bed or what"?

"Mon ami, this is all for you.

Alex gapes, before going to put his stuff down.

Hey Alex, I'm hanging out with friends later, if you want to come. I think you'll like them".

" Maybe, thanks for offering. I'm just going to write for a bit".

"What do you write"?

"I just write about what I see, you know thoughts, dreams, feelings. It's kind of private".

_Good job Alex. Now he thinks that you're weird._

"I'll tell you when we're going if you change your mind".

"Okay". Alex collapsed on the bed with his notebook and started to write.

**Hey guys, thanks for reading this. I'm sorry that this is kind of short and choppy, I'm still figuring this program out. I'm not sure how often I'll update, but I'm aiming for once a week. The only time I can write is at night, so bear with me. Also, I'm not sure what to rate this, so feedback would be appreciated. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

Hope you enjoy, don't get used to updates this fast. TW for unhealthy eating habits and self-harm and panic attacks.

It was weird, as Alex was not used to being a family, and sitting with them, all together, he thought of what Reynolds always used to say to him.

You're pointless to everyone, just a burden on their shoulders. They wish you had never contaminated their home, you filthy immigrant.

Martha broke the silence. "Alex, we know you like to write. Is there anything else you enjoy doing"?

"Umm… read I guess. I also like to follow what's going on with politics".

George leaned in, looking curious. "What are your stances"?

"I think that the reason our country was founded is to give everyone a chance. We need to improve immigration policies, as well as the way we look at civil rights. We need free healthcare so that people can get treatment regardless of socioeconomic status. We also need to implement the green new deal, immediately".

Oh shit. They don't agree with you and they're going to kick you back to the wolves. Alex had a tendency to prepare for the worst.

"I happen to agree with you. You're passionate and a good writer, you could easily have a career in politics". George seemed to get even more excited.

Then Martha chimed in with the inevitable, "Alex, you haven't even touched your dinner".

"I'm not hungry".

They know. They hate you, and you might as well leave now. You're worthless to them.

The look on Alex's face prompted Martha to stop asking. She wondered what made him so scared of them, what must have happened in his short life to scar him like this.

They turned to talk with Laf, and there was no shortage of conversation there. He jabbered on about school and John and Herc, and switched languages often. Even Alex, who spoke French, had a hard time understanding him. Dinner finished quickly, as a conversation with Laf was exhausting.

After dinner, Alex went upstairs to 'go to bed'. He actually stayed up all night writing.

He stumbled downstairs at six, to find George reading the paper.

"You're up early". George said, looking up.

Technically, I'm up late.

"Have some coffee, I already made a pot". George pointed in its general direction.

Alex yawned, got himself a mug, and started drinking. He picked up part of the newspaper that George was done with and started to read.

It was probably an hour before Martha came down and started to make breakfast.

"Hi Alex, you're already up? I'm so used to seeing Laf sleep in. Is there anything you want for breakfast"?

"No". Alexander knew he was restricting, and felt guilty. "I'm not that hungry". He felt Martha's eyes burn into him, and he couldn't take it. He ran upstairs.

You promised Hugo you wouldn't do this.

Hugo put you on this medication, it's his fault. Anyway, if people cared, they would have learned a long time ago.

Alex took out an exact knife that he had stolen from his old art classroom. He dragged it across his arm. Even though it was painful, it gave him a pleasure to know that he was in control. He heard movement in the room next door and quickly hid his blade.

"Alex, Laf, I have breakfast ready"! Martha called from the bottom of the staircase.

Martha had made toast and eggs. Alex stared down at it, astonished by the amount. He barely ever ate breakfast, and couldn't believe that this was normal to them.

He picked at his food and watched Martha glance worriedly at him. He managed to eat half of it, but could not let himself eat anymore. He needed something to be distracted by. Luckily, there is no shortage of conversation with Lafayette.

"And maman, John and Hercules wanted to hang out at the park. Is that okay"?

"Alex, you should come. I think you'll like John".

Alex swore that he saw Laf wink. It was barely a second after Martha nodded that Laf stood up and started talking. " Merci beaucoup"!

Laf then motioned for Alex to come upstairs. Alexander noticed that Lafayette came close to grabbing him, but refrained. Maybe Laf was more sensitive than he thought.

They went upstairs, and Laf didn't hesitate to open the closet and rummage through all his clothes. Laf saw how few outfits he had, and seemed to get excited. Alex saw a spark in his eyes.

Laf was feeling through all his clothes, and Alex started to worry and was frozen in his position.

He'll find them, he'll tell the Washingtons, and you will go back to Reynolds.

Lafayette was going through his shoes now. He picked up the converse that Alex had owned for years.

"These look cool, but seem small".He looked up at Alex. "You okay man"? He stuck his hand in the right shoe and was shocked.

"What is this? " Merde, Alex, have you been using it"?

Alexander was feeling the waves of panic wash over him. His breathing became shallow, and he started to shake. He felt dizzy and leaned against the wall to support himself.

"Mon ami, do you need help? What's going on"?

"Panic attack". Alex barely got the words out. He felt like the world was ending.

"Je vais se mettre Maman". Lafayette had fear in his eyes.

I am going to get mom

"No, please, they can't know"!

Lafayette looked Alex in the eyes. "It's going to be okay".

Alex focused on Laf, and slowly recovered.

"Alex, you need to tell me about those blades".

"Fine. When I'm stressed, cutting helps calm me down. You can't tell them, they'll kick me out, just like the others"!

"I won't tell them."

Thank God.

"But Alex, I can't let you keep these. I'll get rid of them for you. And when you feel like cutting, please come talk to me. I can't let you hurt yourself"!

Laf was getting panicked and would have gone off on a tangent, but Martha called.

"Laf, you need to meet Hercules and John soon. Hurry up"!

Laf picked up a flannel shirt and jeans and threw them in Alexander's direction.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay! I've been doing it for years and people never cared"!

Lafayette gave Alexander a look to that said a million things. It wasn't pitying, but something else.

Laf left to get changed, and Alex put on the clothes he had picked. He had to admit that they looked good.

"Alex, come on, we're going to be late"! Laf decided to pretend that their conversation had never happened. Alex liked it that way and braced himself to meet John and Hercules.

Sorry if you feel like I represented panic attacks wrongly, I've never actually had one. Also, I'm not plagiarizing, but these types of stories follow similar plots and themes. I'll probably update again next weekend. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi guys! I already have some future chapters planned out, and I'm excited to write them.**  
**TW for mentions of death and abuse, some unhealthy eating habits.**

Laf wasn't talking to him as they walked to the park. He was deep in thought, which is a rare sight. Laf tends to think out loud.

"You've heard my sob story, what's yours"! Alex cursed his blunt side.

Smooth. Real smooth. Alex audibly groaned.

"C'est bien, mon ami." Laf turned to face him. " I used to live in Paris, you know, moved here when I was 10."

"When I was 8, my dad would always take me to school. We would always laugh, make jokes, talk about stupid stuff. We were crossing the intersection in his tiny car, the one he prided himself for having. A drunk driver hit the driver's side door." Laf glanced down at the ground.

"The car rolled into a ditch. The person who did it just drove away, and they couldn't identify them. We both went to the hospital. The doctors said that he died immediately and that he didn't feel much pain."

Laf took a deep breath. "A few years later, when I was 10, my mom started to get awful headaches. Soon, she didn't act the way she used to. After she started to have trouble walking, I made her see a doctor. By that time, it was too late to save her. She died soon after."

Laf was staring at the ground, refusing to look up. "When I first came here, I stayed with my aunt. I always liked her. Her boyfriend was different though. He wouldn't beat me unless I stood up for her. One day, they were just up and gone, abandoning me. I was moved to the Washingtons soon after."

"Oh, look!" Laf pointed to two boys standing by a tree. One of them was a strong, tall teenager wearing a beanie, who Alex assumed was Hercules. Laf talked a lot about Hercules, and by the way he was blushing, Alex could see why.

Next to Hercules, John stood there with a goofy grin. His dark, curly masses of hair were barely contained by a hairband. Freckles dotted his face like constellations, making him look even cuter. To add to that, John was just plain hot, and Alex couldn't help but blush.

Laurens turned to Laf.

"Comment est-il?"

What is he like?

Laf looked uncomfortable and tried to tell John, but his voice was drowned out.

"C'est vrai que je le trouve seduisant."

I do think he's hot.

Lafayette was cringing, Herc was confused, and Alex blushed even more.

"John, … il parle francais".

He speaks French.

"Oh, umm…" John was blushing too, and Laf was trying not to laugh.

"What did he say?!" Herc almost shouted, confused. Laf whispered it into his ear, and Hercules burst out laughing.

"Well…, I'm Alex." Alex reached his hand out.

"John." As they shook hands, John felt a spark run through his body.

Alexander had relatively long hair pulled back into a messy bun. Lafayette had obviously chosen his clothes, but Alex definitely pulled them off. He had an air of swagger about him. Alex was short, or shorter than the others, and didn't seem to be from the US. He had large, dark, eyes which he aimed towards the ground. His face was bright red.

Alexander looked up at John, and John saw a spark in his eyes. He was struck into silence, and couldn't take his eyes off of Alex. Laf talked, filling the silence with rapid French. John lagged behind to get a back view, and he liked what he saw. John definitely had a crush.

They walked into the cafe that Laf, John, and Hercules frequented. As soon as they walked inside, the barista was getting their drinks. John watched Alex stare at his surroundings.

By that point, the barista (whose name was Peggy, according to her tag) was almost shouting at him.

"What do you want!"

"Oh, sorry. Could I have a black coffee?"

"Sure. Large black coffee for the kid who looks like he needs one." She gave him a wink.

"Hey, how old are you?"

"I'm 15, why?"

"I'm 15 too, you're just too tall."

Peggy liked this kid. He had a sharp wit and made his words count in his conversations.

Once they got their drinks (a frappucino for Laf, mint tea for Hercules, and coffee with milk and sugar for John), they made their way to a table by the windows.

"Alexander, are you ready for school tomorrow?" Hercules asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Alex looked down, not wanting to talk anymore.

Alex liked these three guys. Hercules was kind and had easy humor. Laf was a hurricane of activity but was always positive. John was artistic and thoughtful, and Alex couldn't help but blush when around him.

After they got back from the coffee shop, Alex disappeared into his room to write. Martha came to get him for dinner.

He picked at his food and left the kitchen as soon as he could. Alex didn't like to eat in front of people.

He stayed up late writing and went to bed at about 4. School was going to be soo fun tomorrow.

**Hi guys. Alex is literally me ( its 5:30 and I haven't slept yet). I'll probably have the next update out next week, and that will probably be more exciting, and also longer. Sorry if I made mistakes with the french, I'm not for reading and reviewing, and see you next update!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, I'm back. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**TW for bullying and unhealthy eating/sleeping habits.**

**I don't own Hamilton.**

Alex woke to Laf shaking him awake at 6. He yawned and realized that he had passed out onto his notebook. Laf started laughing at him.

"What?" Alex said indignantly.

"You have indents and ink on your face."

Alex sighed before following Lafayette downstairs.

Martha offered him all the food he wanted, but Alex, still timid, took a piece of bread and a big cup of coffee.

"Alex, when did you fall asleep? You have circles under your eyes, and ink on your face."

"Oh, I don't know…" Alex dodged the question.

Laf cut in, "He fell asleep on his notebook."

Martha gave him a reproachful look, but let Alex go upstairs to wash his face.

"Geoge, I don't think that Alex sleeps enough, if at all, and the only thing I see him consume willingly is coffee. I'm worried about him." Martha sighed, her eyes tired.

"I mean, he's adjusting to a new family, and he hasn't lived outside the city. Give him time."

Later, Laf came downstairs wearing a white t-shirt, leather jacket, and a purple scarf. He chatted about some essay test in English class, and a debate in Current Events.

Alex came downstairs in a hoodie and sweatpants. Laf was not suppressing his frustration well.

"Come on Alex! Pourquoi ca?"

_Why that?_

Martha gave him a look, and Laf focused his anger into slamming his books into his backpack.

"J'espere tu sais que ne t'aides pas!"

_I hope you know that you aren't doing yourself any favors!_

Alex laughed. "Okay Laf, but I think it speaks for itself." Alex winked, and Laf smiled to himself.

"You're going to be late! Laf, go!" Martha seemed exasperated.

They swung their backpacks over their shoulders and started the short walk to school. Laf liked Alex. He was passionate about his opinions, and crazy smart too.

They walked into the office to pick up his schedule, and nobody was there. Lafayette just went behind the desk and took it for him.

"Oh, Mon ami, you have English, Current Events, and American history with me and John, Science and Geometry with all the 3 of us, and Spanish with John. Let's go!"

They walked into room 1776. The teacher, Mrs. Adams, came up to him.

"Alex, I know that this is your first day, but if you want to take this test, we're writing a persuasive essay on if the pandering techniques used by the Democratic candidates and if they should continue to be used. Do you want to take it?"

"Of course." He wanted to prove that he was worth more than everyone bargained for.

Laf had saved him a seat between himself and John. Alex sat down and grabbed his paper as soon as he could.

The words flowed from his pen, covering the page quickly in his loopy scrawl. He talked about how sometimes pandering went too far, and how Pete Buttigieg chugged liquor from a bottle in a paper bag, and how Donald Trump was using his ties with Modi to pander to Indian American voters.

After writing for an hour, Alex begrudgingly turned in his paper.

"I know it's not very good…"

"This is almost 4 thousand words, Alexander. It's not bad."

"Thanks, and call me Alex."

Alex hurried out and was relieved that his friends had waited. They went to Current Events, and their teacher was nice. He didn't treat Alex any different and started class as usual.

"As you guys know, we have a debate on immigration today. Mr. Jefferson, Mr. Hamilton, why don't you start us off?"

A boy with an afro, who looked a little like Lafayette, accepted in a southern drawl.

They stood up in front of the class. Of course, Jefferson was taller than him.

_5'5 isn't that short. Why is everyone at least 6 inches taller than me!_

"Mr. Jefferson, you may start."

Jefferson smirked, and then dived in. "Refugees come to our country for barely a reason. If they were really afraid, they would apply to another country first. Once they come, they steal jobs from real Americans and exploit our nation. It seems like you know that, Hamilton."

Alex took a deep breath. "They don't apply to other countries because there are threats to their safety, such as gang violence. They are begging for survival, and if they manage to get into the country safely, they don't have an easy time, because they have to deal with xenophobic idiots like you."

"Think again, Hamilton."

"I'm sorry that you just can't understand how much of an ass you are."

Next thing they knew, they were being pulled apart by the professor.

"Sit down. Now."

They both did as instructed, intimidated by the professor. Jefferson sneered at Alex, glaring.

"You don't want to have Thomas as your enemy, Alex. He can make your life hell." John seemed worried about him.

"I can take that xenophobic ass with a hand strapped behind my back."

John rolled his eyes.

"Hey! He's not that much better than me."

"Don't push it, John. He'll never give it up." Laf had learned that lesson early on.

American history flew by, as Alex learned it 2 years ago for fun. Jefferson had been glaring at him, and John kept warning him of his impending doom.

After class, they split up so Alex could go to the bathroom. As soon as they left, and the hallway was empty, Jefferson confronted him.

"Watch your mouth, Hamilass."

"Get a life, Jeffershit."

Jefferson shoved him against the wall. Alex couldn't breathe and saw spots appearing in his vision.

Then he heard a slap and felt Jefferson let go.

"What the hell, Angelica! Jefferson was shouting at a girl, with a slap mark on his face.

"Get lost, Jefferson." Her tone was chilling, and Jefferson quickly ran away.

"You okay?" She helped Alex up.

"Yeah, it's fine. Do you know where John, Herc, and Laf are?"

"Yeah, they're in the courtyard. And man, don't get mixed up with Jefferson. I won't always be there to slap him."

"Okay, thanks, Angelica. See you later."

"Bye!"

Alex swung his backpack back on and walked towards his friends, feeling new bruises blooming on his chest.

He stumbled around the school until he found the courtyard. Laf, John, and Herc were sitting under a banana tree. Alex joined them, curling up against the rough bark.

"Where have you been?" John was worried about him.

Alex was tired of worry and pity. "Just had a hard time finding it."

A girl in an oversized white t-shirt and a blue skirt, who Alex did not notice, piped up. "There are signs for it all around campus. How do you not see them?"

"Who are you?"

_Nice one Alex. You fucked it up again._

She laughed in a nice, bubbly way that made you want to be her friend. She blushed. "I'm Eliza." She let out a beautiful smile.

"Anyway, what took you so long?"

"Nothing…" Alex mumbled.

"Tu parleras, tôt ou tard."

_You will tell me sooner or later._

John gave him a look that meant that Laf wasn't the only one who wanted answers.

The other guys ate lunch. Alex normally didn't eat lunch or breakfast. Reynolds wasn't that generous with food, and Alex was a light eater anyway. He would rather just have coffee.

Laf gave him a pointed look but was kind enough not to bring it up in front of Eliza.

Alex barely had 5 minutes in the courtyard before they had to go to science.

Alex didn't hate science, it just wasn't his strong suit. He could focus for hours on an essay, but chemistry was boring, and it wasn't like he would ever use it.

The professor just gave him a packet to work through, without explaining anything. He was one of those teachers that are just dead on their feet.

It took Alexander the entire period to work through it.

The feeling of Burr's eyes on his back didn't help. Alex didn't like Burr. He wasn't mean, just weirdly observant.

Burr came up to him after class. "If you need help, you can come to me, Alex." His gaze was steely, his eyes locked as if he was a predator, and Alex was prey.

"Sure." Alex felt uncomfortable. His gaze reminded him of Reynolds. It was so much, too soon.

Alex quickly left and followed his friends to Geometry.

They were starting a new unit, and Alex tried to pay attention and ignore the burning stares that he knew were coming his way.

He started drumming his fingers on the desk, restless. He glanced over at John, and could not help loving the way his hair hung in his face.

He had to head to Spanish next. As soon as he got there, he told the professor in Spanish about how and why he was fluent. The teacher gave him a book to read in the back of the class. He tried not to bite his lip off and was more relieved than ever when the bell rang.

He met Laf and John outside the school to walk home. Laf had alluded to the fact that John didn't have a great home life. Alex dumped his stuff in his room and sat down on the couch with the other boys.

Laf had already popped the first Harry Potter movie into the video player. Alex sat on the ground, in front of John.

By the end of the movie, Alex had passed out, his head on John's lap. John had started absentmindedly playing with Alexander's hair.

Martha called "Dinner!"

She looked at the three boys." John, you're welcome to stay if you'd like."

"Thanks, but I'd better head home before my father gets worried."

"Okay, if you're sure!"

She turned to George. "Should we wake Alex? I think that he needs sleep."

"I agree. Let him stay."

It was there they left Alex, out cold on the ground, letting him get some actual sleep.

**Hi guys! Earlier in the chapter, I said that they were sitting under a banana tree in the courtyard. I'm a Portuguese speaker, and there's an expression that is translated as sitting under a banana tree but is interpreted as ignoring one's worries. I thought it suited Alex. I'll try for an update this weekend, or at least midway through the week. Apologies for any mistakes with the languages (the only other languages I speak fluently are Portuguese and Spanish) and thanks for reading and reviewing. Tchau!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm gonna do a time skip here, sorry. **

**TW for unhealthy eating and sleeping habits, talk of self-harm and swearing I guess.**

Two weeks later.

Alex woke up to Laf shaking him. He looked through his bleary eyes at his watch. It was 7:30, and Alex had 2 hours of sleep the night before.

Alex had felt his anxiety sneaking upon him. He noticed that when he was not extremely focused, he was either disassociating or fidgeting.

The only good thing during this time was John. The stolen glances during Spanish class, the feeling of John playing with his hair, they made it easy for him to deny his problems.

Laf jokingly carried him out of his chair and was very worried about Alex. Alex had already been underweight, but he was losing weight quickly.

"Mange. Maintenant."

_Eat. Now._

Alexander started to make his way downstairs. He went towards the coffeemaker.

"No. Eat something." Laf didn't care that George was in the room, and was one level away from yelling.

"What's going on?" George was getting up too.

"Alexander isn't eating, and he hasn't been getting enough sleep either." Laf was getting even angrier.

"Is this true son?" Washington gave Alex a pitying stare.

"I'm not your son!" Alex was starting to panic. The only thing he could think to do was run.

He started going as fast as he could, but Washington still managed to grab his arm. When he did, Alex's sleeve pulled up, exposing his arms.

_Shit. Shit. Shit! They will kick you back to Reynolds!_

"Alexander, please stop trying to run away. Let's talk." Laf stood in the corner, unsure of what to do. Martha came in, witnessing the scene, everyone frozen in time.

"Lafayette, please go upstairs. We need to talk to Alex." Laf looked indignant but went upstairs.

"Alex, please sit down. We will not hurt you or kick you out." Washington gestured to the couch, and Alex sat down, staring at the ground.

"Alex, who gave you those scars?"

Alexander couldn't look into Washington's eyes. " I did." He was almost too quiet to hear.

"Alexander, for how long?" Martha sounded so sweet.

Alex couldn't stand himself for disappointing her. "Since I was 12. When I came here."

"Have you been doing it here?"

It was barely audible. "Yes."

"Does Laf know?" George was starting to get mad.

Alex was silent, refusing to tell.

"Alex, please let us know." Martha reached out a hand and started rubbing his back.

Alex nodded, not wanting to say anything.

"I'm going to talk to Laf for a bit." There was anger in his eyes, and he immediately went upstairs.

"George…" Martha ran after him.

Finally free, Alex ran outside into their huge yard and began to cry under the shade of a tree. He had a flashback to his mom.

_They both had the fever, and couldn't afford medicine. She reached out a burning hand to touch his face._

_"Carino, acercate màs. Necesito dite una cosita."_

_Baby, come closer. I need to tell you something._

_Alex obliged. "Haré cualquier cosa para ti."_

_I will do anything for you._

_"Pase lo que pase, quiero que tu dejas la isla. No puedes alcance todo su potencial aquì. Quiero que te conviertes en algo. Te amo."_

_Whatever happens, I want you to leave the island. You can't reach your full potential here. I want you to become something. I love you._

_"Te amo." He watched his mother fall back, the light leaving her eyes._

Alex started to scream, before remembering where he was.

_Shit. _

"Alex! Are you out there! Martha had worry radiating from her voice.

She found him and sat down next to him. She put her hand on his back. "It's okay. Nobody will hurt you here."

Alex let himself sink into her arms. Maybe he could let them take care of him.

**Hey guys. I'll try to get an update out on Saturday or Friday night. Sorry about how short this is! Thanks for reading and reviewing, and I hope to see you on Friday night. Bom manha!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! This chapter is kind of all over the place, and I'm sorry about that. **

**TW this week for homophobia and bullying/assault. There's a scene with some of Henry Laurens' A+ parenting, labeled as a flashback and in italics. No physical abuse, but if this scene makes you uncomfortable, it's fine to skip it. Thanks for reading! **

Alex was leaning against the door, waiting for Laf, when John came up to him. John walked over to him, nervous, looking at the ground and fidgeting.

" Hey, that's my job!" Alex whined.

"Sorry,... Hey, I wanted to ask you something." John chuckled to himself, nervously.

"Do you want to go see a movie sometime? I mean, the new frozen is out, unless you've seen it already…"

"Sure, I'd like that!"

"Okay, I'll text Laf." Alex saw John smile to himself, a stupid, goofy grin that he realized he was sporting the same one himself.

Laf came over, chatting up a storm. Alex mon ami, you should have been in band with us! It was interesting as you say. A kid got a tennis ball stuck in his saxophone! Hey, why are you smiling so like that?"

At that second Laf's phone dings. He opens it and looks at the notification.

"John says to meet him at the theater. What are you doing? Are you blushing?! Is this a date!"

Laf looked like he was on the verge of exploding with excitement. Alex's face was red, and he was looking at the floor. Laf smiled so wide that it looked like it would fall off of his face.

"I won't tell anyone, but you have to let me help you." Laf loved the possibility of getting to dress Alex.

On the walk home, Laf chatted nonstop about what Alex should wear.

"You will wear that ugly hoodie over my dead body, ami. I won't let you sabotage yourself." Laf hated that hoodie, and for Alex, it was a haven. They couldn't help but bicker about it.

"Your words are hurtful." Alex feigned distress. However, he couldn't help but smile. Laf hadn't seen much of this version of Alex. He was light, happy, and easygoing. Lafayette could get used to this.

When they got to the Washington house, Laf flung open the black door. Martha gave him a quizzical look.

"I'm going to the movies with John at 7. Laf has already put himself in charge of helping."

Martha saw that the boy in front of her was happier than she had ever seen him. "That's great! Are you having dinner there?"

Alexander sighed. When would people get off his back about this? "Yeah."

"Okay." She watched Alex bound up the stairs, a new spring in his step.

X-X

John was in his room, trying to think of an excuse to tell his dad. He laid there, staring at the ceiling.

He had a flashback to two years ago when he was 13.

_He walked into the living room, his dad sitting at his desk with a scotch._

_"Dad, I have something important to tell you." John had practiced this moment with Laf and Herc over and over, wanting it to be perfect, waiting for the right moment._

_"What is it, son?" Henry Laurens had always looked to John to be the model son, and so far John hadn't come up short. It made this so much harder._

_" Dad, I like boys." John waited for the follow-up, knowing that it would be bad._

_"What do you mean, son?" Henry looked at John with some disbelief, and it was clear that he thought that John was joking._

_"You know, I'm gay." His voice was barely above a whisper._

_Henry knocked back his scotch and sighed. "Son, you can't say that. You're too young to decide that, and it's not an option anyway. Don't say that anywhere else, because it's not true."_

_John held back the tears that were welling up in his eyes."Ok." He ran to his room, and when he was finally safe, he started to cry, _

John got off the bed. "Hey, Mary Eleanor!"

Mary came into the room."What do you want?"

"Help me pick something to wear?"

"Is this a date?" Mary wiggled her eyebrows."With who?"

"Laf's new foster brother, Alex." John smiled to himself.

"Is he hot?" John thought about Alex, and the way he bit his lip when he was nervous, the way his hair covered his paper while he worked.

"Never mind, I can already tell. Here, wear this." Mary handed him some tight jeans and a t-shirt. "Tuck it in, it looks hotter."

"Okay. What time is it?"

"6:50, why?"

"Shit! I'll be late!" John raced out the door and ran to Washington's, thanking the gods that he remembered his wallet and phone.

"John, tu es ènfin là!" Laf was excited enough to be going on the date.

_You are finally here!_

Alex walked through the door, eager to get going.

"See you guys later!" As soon as the door closed, John grabbed Alex's hand and they started towards the theater.

John watched Alex walk, how Alex's eyes lit up when he cared about what he spoke, how he combed through his hair when he got nervous. Je noticed that even though Alex had a Spanish accent, he spoke eloquently with words that John had never heard.

Alex stopped talking and breathed, and realized he had been holding it in. Shit. He must have been talking nonstop since they left the house.

"John, what is going on with you?" Alex cursed how oblivious he could get.

"Never better."

"Why?"

"Because you're here." John started to freak out. What if Alex didn't think the same way?

"I like being near you too." For a moment, John could see the pain and longing in his eyes. Why did bad things happen to good people?

They walked into the theater, and John pulled Alex over to the snack bar. Alex resisted, not wanting to eat anything.

John noticed, but didn't say anything. "I'll take a diet coke, a sprite, and a large popcorn. The tired liking cashier was counting out his change when he told her to keep it.

John handed the coke to Alex, and he begrudgingly took it. They walked to their seats, and John felt his date flinch, the tiniest movement, but enough for him to notice.

John looked behind him and was in disbelief to see Jefferson sitting in the seat above them.

Alex was a little nervous but settled into the movie. He ended up falling asleep after into the unknown, which made John wonder if he got any at home. At the beginning of the credits, Alex excused himself. John texted Laf to tell him that Alex was fine, and didn't notice Jefferson follow Alex.

Alex went into the bathroom and locked himself in a stall. He sat on the cool tiles, thinking about how he had been acting, and Jefferson, and started to hyperventilate. Jefferson walked in, his shoes clicking against the tile floor.

How the fuck does that work? Alex wondered. Then he saw a hand snake over the top of his stall, opening it. Alex was shaking and tried not to shake harder.

"I told you not to bother me, Mr. Hamilton." He smiled creepily, a wide grin. " Do you even have a clue as to what happens now?"

"No..." Alex started to say in a shaky voice, as Jefferson punched him in the stomach, slamming him into the wall. Alex gasped, wincing from pain, and Jefferson shoved him to the ground, leaving him there.

John was worried. Alex had been in the bathroom longer than any person should. John decided to check on him, and see if he needed anything. He opened the door to the bathroom and found Alex, his nose bleeding, in too much pain to get up.

"What the fuck happened?" Alex could practically see John's body emit anger.

"Broken rib" Alex barely managed to gasp.

"I'm calling Martha. Now."

On the phone call

"John, why are you calling me?"

"Something happened to Alex. Can you pick us up, as soon as you can?"

"I'm getting in the car right now. How bad is it?"

"He says he has a broken rib, and his nose is bloody. It looks like he got beat up."

"Shit."

Marthas here now!

Martha rushed into the theater to see John holding Alex, Alex curled up in his arms.

"Oh, Alex!" Martha was shocked. "Let's get you home."

**Hey guys, I hope you're having some nice holidays. This chapter was hard for me to write, and maybe hard for some of you to read. John's coming out scene is based on my experiences. It's really hard not to be accepted by parents, and if any of you want to talk, you can always PM me. You are the one who gets to have that identity, and nobody else should get to control it for you. On a happier note, the story that Laf blurts to Alexander is taken directly from what happened in my band class last week. Thanks for reading and reviewing, it makes me happier than you would know, and I don't know when I'll update again. if I don't see you before, Happy holidays!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, I'm back. Sorry for writing during the holidays, but I want to get the chapters to line up with stuff in the real world. I've been wanting to write this chapter for a while now. It should be fluffier than the others. Enjoy!**

**Also in this chapter, it's supposed to be Christmas.**

**TW for unhealthy eating habits.**

Alex was lying on the couch with an ice pack on his rib. After the incident at the movies, they had gone to a clinic. There wasn't much that they could do there, except clean him up and confirm that yes, his rib was broken.

os

He had been up for hours and was in the middle of a third (or fourth? He couldn't remember.) cup of coffee when Laf came bounding down the stairs.

"IT'S CHRISTMAAAAAS!" Laf reminded him of his five-year-old foster brother from the Jones. If he told Laf that, Alex expected to see a temper tantrum. Alex fiddled with the idea in his mind, Laf banging the ground, upset, screaming. It was almost as clear as a memory in his mind.

"John said that he'll be over in about 5 minutes."

"John's coming?" Alex blushed as he thought of what it felt like to have John brush through his hair, of how John had dimples when he smiled. They hadn't seen each other since the whole movie theater incident.

"Ah mon ami, it is so obvious that you are smitten with each other! If you got together, that would be amazing! We could double date!" Laf was shouting this excitedly for the world to hear. Alex would prefer that he was quieter. He just didn't know how supportive the Washingtons would be.

"Take a breath, Laf." Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"IT'S JOHN!" Laf bounded towards the door and flung it open so hard that it crashed into the wall. As the door closed, Alex could see a mark on the wall, made by Laf doing that.

"Can we open presents!" Laf gasped, panting from excitement.

"After breakfast." Laf pouted at Martha, not wanting to waste any time.

"What's break-" George stepped away from what he was cooking, revealing pancakes.

At this point, John clapped his hand over Laf's mouth to prevent another outburst. Laf tried to pull his hand off but wasn't strong enough.

They stayed like this for a while, John chatting with Alex until George put a plate with pancakes that were stacked high on the counter. He also put butter and syrup out.

Laf immediately grabbed at least half the stack, drowning the pancakes in syrup. John grabbed a few to eat plain. Alex wasn't going to take any, but Martha and George wouldn't let him get off so easy. He sighed and took one.

Laf inhaled his pancakes and expected the other boys to do the same. When they didn't, he waited impatiently, tapping his foot.

"Mes amis, could you eat any slower?" Laf sighed, and was staring at the boys, humming the jeopardy theme.

Laf, Martha, and George went upstairs to get their gifts. After they got their stuff, they met on the couch.

Laf gave everyone art projects that he had made over the last year. Alex found the misshapen pencil holder oddly charming if nothing else.

John had drawn everybody sketches, which were amazing. Alex's was a picture of him bent over a piece of paper, writing. It was definitely of him during school.

Alex was confused. "How did you-"

"Do you think that I pay attention? I'm not a nerd." John smirked.

"I take personal offense!" Alex said jokingly.

Alex handed everyone the poems he had attempted to write. According to the Washingtons, they were good, but he didn't buy it. Laf had gotten funds for a shopping spree from the Washingtons, and John got a new set of colored pencils.

Alex was confused by the fact that he had gotten a present at all. Nevertheless, he opened it and was shocked to see a Chromebook sitting inside it. He was almost to tears.

"Son?" George asked, concerned.

"This is one of the most valuable things I've ever received." Alex couldn't believe that he owned a laptop. He had never thought that these people would care enough about him to do something like this.

"Thank you." He was almost whispering. And for the first time in years, he went over to hug them voluntarily.

Then, of course, Martha's phone rang. "Alex, it's your social worker." She could see the worry in Alexander's eyes.

"Okay, could I talk to her in the other room?" Martha led Alex into the family study, which was a group of bookshelves and some desks. He pressed a trembling finger to the call button.

"Did you find James?" Alex was close to giving up hope about this. He had been searching for James for three years now and never found so much as a trace.

Amy sighed. "Yes. He's living in Virginia, with a family that says you can visit on January second. Their number is 804-374-9526." Alex couldn't believe it. He was crying now, tears streaming down his face.

"Let me ask my foster parents." Alex was excited but also worried. So much could have happened to James in the foster system for these past three days.

"Hey, George! Are you up for a ten-hour road trip to Virginia on January second?" Alex was yelling from the study.

The rest of the family, including John, sat at the couch in a shocked state. "Umm… Sure, Alex!"

George wanted to please the boy, but this had just slipped out. Oops.

Alex excitedly shouted into the phone."Yes, tell them that we'll be there!" He hung up and walked into the kitchen with a smile, and tears running down his face.

"What the heck, Alex?! What's going on!" Laf yelled at him from the couch, confused like the others, who were staring at him with confusion.

Alex, oblivious to the world around him, responded, "I just found out that my biological brother, who was separated from me when we came here, is living in Virginia. I haven't seen him in three years." His voice broke. "I haven't known if he's okay, and I still don't, but I can see him, talk to him…"

"Oh Alex. Of course we would be happy to take you there." Martha couldn't believe that this 15-year-old had been through so much.

"Really?" Alex didn't understand how these people cared about him so much.

"January second." She took his hand and squeezed it, making Alex feel more loved at this moment that he had been in years.

**Hey guys. I enjoyed writing Alex and Laf in this chapter. Laf is fun to write when he's excited, and I love that Alex and James are going to see each other. This week, I cannot give enough thanks to my beta, Ana. She makes sure that my work is coherent English, not just stuff that I put through Google translate and Grammarly, and does it quickly. This story would not be possible without her! I will update again on January second, so I'll see you then. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, it gives me life. Happy holidays!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Welcome back! It's 2020, cadelas! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.**

**TW for mentions of abuse.**

It was the fateful day. It was 5 in the morning, and everyone was tired as Alex and George got into the car. George started the ignition, and they made their way towards Virginia.

"Au revoir!" Laf and Martha smiled and waved as the car left the drive.

As soon as they left Laf was relieved. "Thank mon Dieu!" He sighed and turned towards Martha, and she was relieved too.

Alex had been an anxious mess since the phone call on Christmas day. He had nightmares every single night!

_Alex was screaming and crying, and Martha ran into his room._

_"Are you alright Alex!" Martha knew that these were common for him, but she couldn't help but worry._

_" I keep on seeing James." Alex let out a pained sob. "I see him hurt, alone, abandoned!"_

_Martha was at a loss for words. She didn't know what to tell him. She couldn't bear lying to the boy. "It'll all work out Alex." She hoped that he would trust the words more than she did._

_She felt Alex lean on her, sobbing into her lap._

Martha was summoned back to reality by Laf ranting in assorted languages.

"Je sais qu'il a un raison, mais il est vraiment agaçant!"

_I know he has a reason, but he is very annoying!_

Laf thought back to studying earlier that week.

_Laf was sitting at the table, and Alex was cuddled on the couch with John. Alex was listening to music so loud that you could hear it pumping through his earbuds._

_Then, a strange tapping noise. Starting slow, and over a few minutes, gets faster and more frantic._

_John felt Alex's leg bounce. He loved Alex, but this has been happening for too long._

_"Cariño. Slow down. This isn't healthy."_

_"It isn't healthy for any of us!" Laf started yelling at Alex in multiple languages._

_Alexander was shaking and held on to John with a tight grip. He kept his back to Laf, braced for the inevitable blow._

_John looked at his boyfriend, who was tensed up, a nervous mess in his lap. Alex was muttering in Spanish._

_"DesculpeDesculpeDesculpe" Alex was nervous, thinking back to the other homes he had been in._

_"SorrySorrySorry"_

_"Laf, stop!" John couldn't take this anymore. "Look at what you're doing to him!"_

_Laf stopped yelling and came back down from where he had been lost in his anger. "Oh, Alexandre…"_

Laf still felt bad and hoped that Alex forgave him.

**Meanwhile…**

Alex was not doing great. He had been too anxious to function, and without school to distract him… ugh.

They were halfway through the drive that was so fucking long, and James was the only thing Alex could think about. It was unbearable.

Alex let out a yell and slammed his head on the dashboard. George, fearing the worst, swerved over so he could stop in the pullover lane.

"What the hell, Alex!" George was done with this car ride." Why!?"

Alex smiled sheepishly. "I just need to be in Virginia right now. I can't wait any longer."

"Alex, I know this is very difficult for you. But you are the strongest boy I know, and if anybody can do it, it's you."

"Just a few more hours."

**Time passes**

Alex was shaken awake by George. They were here! Alex ran up to the door and flung it open. He was greeted by a short Latina woman.

"Hi. I'm Mrs. Lewis." She reached her hand out.

"Alexander." He shook, wondering where James was.

A voice came from the second floor."Is that him?"

Alexander's heart melted at his voice. "Sì!"

James walked down the stairs. He was tall and had the large eyes that they had gotten from their mother. "Alejandro?"

"James?" Alex reached out and hugged him. "Como estas? James, alguna vez se lastimo?"

_Did anyone ever hurt you?_

James was happy to see his brother and wondered why he would ask something like that. "No, los Lewises son buenas personas. Por que?"

_No, the Lewises are good people. Why?_

Alex sighed, the culmination of the worrying he had done for the last few years. He hugged James, holding him tightly. He didn't want James to live through the nightmares that he survived. "James, soy muy aliviado. Algunas personas…"

_James, I'm so relieved. Some people…_

"Alejandro, que pasó?" He hadn't thought about the shit that Alejandro might have been through. "Dime todos."

Alex didn't want to tell him the full story. Sure, he was thirteen when the shit with the Miller's happened, but James was still naïve. He didn't want to ruin that for him.

James stared at Alex expectantly. Alex couldn't stall this. "Dos o tres personas golpeame cuando vivía en NYC." He shrugged, trying to act okay for James' sake.

_Two or three people beat me when I lived in New York._

"Oh Alejandro, yo no pienso que-"James felt so bad, he hadn't even thought about what could have happened to him."Está bien. Y la escuela, como vas?"

_I didn't think- _

_It's fine. And school, how is it going?_

James sensed the weird subject change but just went with it. "Está uno profe que di…" Alex listened intently, not daring to take his eyes off of his brother, hoping for and cherishing every second he got with his brother.

George and Mrs. Lewis watched them through the doorway. He had never seen Alex like this; he was almost father-like. The way Alex had his arm around James' back, the way Alex looked like he would give James the sky; it reminded George of his older brothers.

After letting the boys talk alone for a while, they sat down for dinner. Alex was shocked at how she had made Pelau, a food that was common in Nevis. James smiled and told Alex that they had Nevisian food relatively often.

After dinner (which was amazing) Alex and George had to leave. James pressed a manila envelope into Alex's hand.

"Mom wanted me to give this to you for your birthday. It was supposed to be sooner, but…"

"Muchas gracias!" Alex couldn't wait for his birthday, so he could see this.

"Alex, we have to go." George hated dragging the two boys apart, but they needed to go.

"James!" His brother turned around. "Call me!"

Before they pulled out of the drive, Alex saw James stare at him, taking one last glance back at him.

**Hey guys! This chapter is pretty bad, so sorry. I've had a lot of shit lately, and my writing is pretty uninspired. Anyway, the next chapter will be out on January 11 for Hamilton's birthday, and I'm also writing a one-shot. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, it means a lot to me. Have a good start to your 2020!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi guys! I hope you guys have had a good start to the new year. This chapter honors Hamilton's birthday, (sorry it's late). Enjoy!**

**TW for mentions of parental death**

Alex was in his room putting on the clothes that Laf had chosen for him the day before. He would rather wear his hoodie, but Laf would not let that happen.

He threw on the clothes and dragged himself out of his room, heading straight for the coffee. He blinked, trying to get his eyes to cooperate with two hours of sleep.

"Alexandre! Come downstairs, it's breakfast!" Laf's excitement could never be constrained, even in the early morning. However, Alex was beginning to love Laf's bubbly attitude.

Alex dragged his feet down the stairs, yawning as he went. He sighed and stared at the wall, wondering what was in store for him today. Laf would not let him get away with not having a birthday party.

He saw that waffles had been prepared and that the table had been set for them to have a family breakfast.

_Ugh. Dinner is hard enough._ Alexander trudged on, sinking into his chair.

Only one thing came up in their conversations. "Alexander, is there anything you want to do for your birthday today?" Martha looked at him, curious.

"Umm… I was just going to relax." Alex watches Laf start to object, but Martha stopped him by laying a hand on his wrist.

"Alex, I found a biography that I think you would like. It's about Lin Manuel Miranda." Washington glanced to the side, hoping for the boy to accept him.

"Ok!" Alex was a big history buff, and it had been a while since he had read a good biography.

They got through the breakfast, relying on Laf to provide the conversation. He spoke for at least 30 minutes about some teacher who had yelled at him, and why they were wrong.

Afterward, Alex followed George into his office. He gravitated to the large book, looking to George before clutching it in his hands. He flipped to the table of contents excitedly, happy to see that there were almost 800 pages.

He sat down to read it, zoning out. He didn't notice the sounds of people coming in and furniture moving. He read for about 2 hours before George asked him to come outside into the family room.

He was amazed to see Herc, John, and the Schuyler sisters sitting on the couch."I-I can't believe you guys came here."

"Of course we would." Eliza gave him a dazzling smile. He hoped that she knew he was dating John.

Angelica piped up. "We brought gifts too!" Alex sat down, and Angelica shoved a present into his hands.

Alex looked to her for approval before ripping it open and discovering more thick books. He sighed with bliss. "These are amazing! Thank you!" He would've started reading if John didn't shove a drawing at him.

It was very detailed, of Alexander reading in class, his hair falling into his face. Even the author of the book was spot on. "John… Thank you! Your drawings are amazing!

"There's more to come." John winked, and Alex couldn't wait for them to be alone.

He was handed James' note. He took it out and started to read the words, in his mother's cursive and that switched from French into Spanish often.

The words _Je t'aime _and _Te amo _jumped out at him often, but the most important words were at the very end.

"_Ce n'est pas de ta faute, Alejandro." _

_It's not your fault._

That was when he broke. Alex had been wondering for years if she blamed him for getting her sick if she was mad at him. He had never come to terms with his mom's death, and this was one step closer to closure.

He looked up at the people around him, tears pouring down his cheeks. His friends looked bewildered, as Laf and the Washingtons were the only ones who knew who it was from.

Laf moved over to put an arm around his foster brother, and Alex didn't flinch. He whispered in Alex's ear. "Puis-je le lire?" Laf was curious but needed Alexander's permission for something this special.

_Can I read it?_

"Cette phrase." Alex pointed to the important one, and Laf gasped. "Alexandre." He hugged Alex, letting Alex lean on him.

Suddenly, the entire group joined them n a large hug. However, Laf and John could sense that Alex was getting uncomfortable, and ended it as soon as possible.

They sat down and started watching the Lion King, in honor of, as Laf said, "le petit lion". Alex ended up asleep on John's lap, his long locks being played with by John.

It was too soon when everyone left. John stayed the night and slept in Alex's room.

"I hope you aren't too tired." John stared into his eyes, their faces almost touching.

"Why?" Alex asked, studying every inch of John's face.

In response, John moved even closer and kissed him, long and passionately.

**Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Happy late birthday Alexander! I am working on a one-shot, and it will probably be out next weekend, depending on my exam schedule. The next chapter will possibly be out next weekend, but I'm not sure. Thanks for reading and reviewing and I will see you next chapter!**


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